5 Ways Graduate School Changed My Life

Graduate school changes everything. Your schedule, your priorities, even your sense of self.

After a few years of reflection post-graduation, here are the five ways graduate school changed my life for the better:

1. Quadrupled Confidence

2. Instant Personal and Professional Connections

3. Writing for Any Audience

4. Created - Then Shattered - Career Goals

5. How to Compartmentalize and Structure Time

#1: Quadrupled Confidence

Before grad school: I would wait until the “more intelligent” people had spoken in a work meeting before participating (if at all)

After grad school: I now spark the discussion and openly question the status quo

There’s something special about earning the right to be called a “master” or “doctor” of something. Maybe it’s because only 21% of people in the US have a master’s degree, 4.5% have a doctorate, and 3.2% have a professional degree (US Census). 

That said, the massive growth in my confidence didn’t come from holding a diploma or updating my email signature title.

Quite the opposite, actually.

The graduate school experience is a prime example of the value of the journey versus the destination (although keeping the diploma in mind definitely helped to get through long nights studying). 

During both programs, I spent the first semester feeling in over my head, doubting I even deserved to be learning with such intelligent peers. With each passing month I realized I belonged there and had it in me to succeed. 

For five years - two as a master’s student and three as a doctoral student - I had weekly practice learning how to identify issues in my field, research related topics, and develop compelling solutions. Over time I built a bank of knowledge to help me in future classes and conversations. 

When the faculty members I looked up to validated my contributions in class, it slowly built my confidence to realize I had something valuable to offer.

This quickly carried over into my professional life since what I was studying directly related to my work at the time. I found myself more likely to speak up during meetings, knowing I had the knowledge to back up any questions or statements. I really felt the change when people started coming to me for professional advice and guidance. 

Little by little, I started to view myself as a leader and advocate for people in my workplace.

This confidence even led to the start of a website so that I can share this experience and knowledge with others who need it. Even on rough days, I know that if I could survive writing a dissertation, I can make it through anything.

#2: Instant Personal and Professional Connections

Before grad school: I googled most questions because few people in my circle had experience in my field

After grad school: I pop a message into my cohort’s group chat or text someone individually who I know can and will help

People go to college with bright eyes and big hopes they will meet their best friends for life. It’s a sweet sentiment and works out for some people - in graduate school, however, you develop friendly relationships with people who more likely become professional connections.

One of the best parts about going back to work after grad school was suddenly having a cohort of people I could reach out to with any question in my job. More importantly, these were people I could talk to candidly and confidentially as I worked through an issue. 

Having knowledgeable, objective opinions available from people who care about your success is worth every challenge the grad school experience brings.

This professional camaraderie extends to almost every field of work. While most people are texting memes on the daily, doctors and veterinarians are texting friends from school about a case to ask if they’ve seen something similar. In business, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” comes to life when a corporate contract is given to someone’s friend from business school.

The key to building these relationships is to support your peers in and out of class. 

This support includes giving praise and support for their comments in class, sending encouraging messages in group texts when everyone’s up late finishing a paper, and being an incredible partner in group projects.

“People won’t remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.”

Be the classmate who brings the joy. 

#3: Writing for Any Audience

Before grad school: Academically, I wrote how I spoke (which had room for polishing)

After grad school: I write to the reader with intentionality both personally and professionally

The year before being admitted to graduate school, I was rejected. Womp. 

While meeting with a faculty member to ask how I could strengthen my application for the following year, I was told that my application suggested I was “more of a do-er than a scholar.” It was a total gut punch and honestly a bit confusing since I was applying for a program leading to a career working with students at a university - i.e. a “doing” career. 

As I prepared to apply again the following year, I was more intentional in writing a personal statement geared toward the audience: faculty members on the admission committee.

In my statement, I put more focus on how I would dive into the coursework and looked forward to learning from specific professors on their topics of expertise. I pulled back on the previous year’s well-intentioned but “fluffy” language on how I hoped to change the world with my degree.

Once I started graduate school, I quickly learned that the best way to succeed academically was to understand what each faculty member wanted to see from our papers. (This was a paper/project-focused degree). 

Essentially, I had 3-4 different “audience” members each semester, and focused each assignment accordingly.

Here are a few examples:

• Professor #1: A stickler for APA-style formatting. I triple-checked every citation and reference page to ensure every capitalization and punctuation was in place so I wouldn’t lose points for simple errors.

• Professor #2: A researcher who was more interested in the number of relevant citations than original ideas. These papers were packed to the brim with related research, because the professor believed the best way to create new knowledge was to have an exhaustive understanding of what already existed.

• Professor #3: A professor who knew our individual personality types and expected to see our strengths and personalities in our papers.

With 15+ different faculty over the course of my master’s and doctoral programs, I became a stronger writer through practice; especially because each paper had a different audience. Graduate school also taught me how to back up any claim with peer-reviewed research.

I took this experience into my career and - paired with empathy - I now write any email or report with ease because I know who will read it and what will positively catch their attention.

#4: Created - Then Shattered - Career Goals

Before graduate school: My career and goals were built on the suggestion of mentors or trusted coworkers until I was 36

After graduate school: I know who I am, what I want - more importantly, what I don’t - and am confident in building my own career path

I hesitated to include this because the career goals I had when starting both my master’s and doctorate degrees were dropped by the time I graduated. As I moved through each program and learned more about myself and what my “dream jobs” entailed, I knew those jobs weren’t for me. 

How did this happen?

Like a lot of fellow high-achieving, first-generation college students in graduate school, once I found out the highest title (and salary) in my field, I made that the goal: Vice President of Student Affairs for a university. 

Then I learned that the role was more about college politics and less about the student experience, even for a leader with the best of intentions. These people often have to talk to parents when a student dies on campus, or otherwise be the institution’s face for students in the wake of tragedy.

Even if I could do well in that role, graduate school gave me the time and space to learn I would rather be in a job without that level of emotional weight.

As I started a doctorate, the primary driver was to open future doors into a leadership position on a campus. There were women I looked up to who were passed over or not considered for university leadership roles they would excel in, simply because they didn’t have a doctorate.

I was determined not to let this happen to me.

Ironically enough, over the next three years as I learned more about myself, I started questioning if I even wanted a director role. The existence of this website may give a hint as to what came next in my career. 

Are you being held back in your career because you need the next degree? I love helping people reach their goals, and working outside of a structured university system allows me to do what I do best to help working professionals go to graduate school.

#5: How to Compartmentalize and Structure Time

Before grad school: “I can do ALL of this ALL at once!” (cue anxiety, confusion, guilt and overwhelm)

After grad school: My best work is done in bursts of focus on one task both personally and professionally, and my time is scheduled to adequately meet my needs and maintain the most important relationships

I used to pride myself on always going with the flow and switching focus to whatever grabbed my attention in the moment. In college, unless there was a specific event coming up (like a theme party, my favorite!), social plans were determined by whatever text invite popped up that day. For school work? A calendar was only needed for assignment due dates... and even those were mostly handled on a last-minute, reactionary basis.

Cue graduate school where time - and sleep - became hot commodities.

Add in being a 20-something, then 30-something with a social life, mid-distance relationship, work schedule and responsibilities to ailing family members. I needed a better strategy than go with the flow.

It took a few semesters and innumerable tears to finally learn the value of intentionally scheduling my time so that both my responsibilities and personal needs were met.

This post details my go-to productivity methods.

Recommendation: Always have something to look forward to. <— the best advice I have EVER implemented. 

To get me through the most challenging times in graduate school, here’s what this looked like:

On a macro scale: graduation. 

As an undergraduate student, my college handed out the tassels for our eventual graduation caps during our first week as students. Ideally, we would hold onto them for four years. I did. 

Seeing that tassel got me through undergrad and I hung it up as a reminder to look forward to graduation during graduate school, too. It was a symbol that I could survive any paper - even my dissertation - and that the struggle bus was temporary.

On a micro scale: an event… or even a 5-minute stretching break.

In the throes of a hectic time in the semester, I learned that if I had something to look forward to, it helped me stay focused on my work. Even more importantly, it provided positivity when I was overwhelmed with balancing class, research, work and my personal life. 

Sometimes the “event” was dinner with friends, other times it was a catch-up phone call.

As a grad student, it is imperative to connect with people whose lives have nothing to do with your university or academic program. Every conversation is a reminder that there is a world outside of class (and that one day you’ll rejoin it).

I also started a weekly date with myself, one of my favorite shows, and one glass of rosé. Knowing that Thursday night was coming gave me a breath of hope during long weeks, and incentive to get my school work done so I could fully enjoy it.

And when I was in the middle of dissertation-writing where every hour was precious, I gave myself the gift of looking forward to 5-minute stretching breaks after a Pomodoro session. It really is the little things.

If this list has inspired you to apply to graduate school and you would enjoy caring, knowledgeable support along the way, I’m here to help.

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